The way this old handyman looks at it, you’re actually watching TWO games every time the Blues play.
The first game, which takes place when the clock is running, never seems all that American to me. It features Blues players like Vladimir Tarasenko, Carl Gunnarsson, and MacKenzie MacEachern, who have similar names to Winter Olympics athletes who stand at attention on that 3-level podium while someone else’s national anthem is played. For recently winning the Western Division, the Blues were presented with the “Campbell Bowl,” which sounds like, and looks like, a gaudy, oversized soup tureen. Maybe the one used at Harry and Meghan’s wedding reception. And don’t get me started on the serving-ware they’re competing for next, named after LORD Stanley of Preston – a graduate of Eton, a prep school for over-privileged British boys, who possibly once held a hockey stick, but certainly never a toilet plunger or any other tool requiring manual labor.
No, the American part of the hockey game begins when the buzzer goes off signaling the end of the 1st period. Immediately rolling onto the rink is the ice-smoothing Zamboni machine, invented by and named after the son of struggling Italian-American immigrants. He used his newly-found freedoms to achieve the American dream by making something that makes ice hockey possible. Then, there are those ice rink walls and plexiglass, which have just endured a 20-minute period of being crushed, smashed, pounded, and scraped, while the audience cheered and laughed, humiliation that no building materials should ever be asked to endure. To handle that, folks pop-out with name badges sewn onto their uniforms that read “Chuck”, “Pete”, and “Zeke.” These hard-working Americans patch, paint, brace, and in all other ways make things new again. All done without hearing their names roared over the sound system, or accompanied by flashing lights, lasers, smoke, and foghorns. Now, that’s what I call America.
We at Fix St Louis like to think of ourselves as residential counterparts to that hockey game clean-up crew, except we ply our trade in similarly-damaged TEENAGE BOYS BEDROOMS. Someday, you just may need us for these:
Fix St Louis is great at removing holes, dents, and dings from bedroom walls. Sometimes they’re just nondescript nicks, but other times the punched-out drywall is EXACTLY in the shape of baseballs, pucks, doorknobs, and fists, which can be pretty amusing to us, presumably less so to the parents. If your walls have some kind of sand texture, we can restore it in the patched area. And if you once tried to patch it yourself, and it still stands out because you couldn’t figure out how to smooth it or add that texture back, we can fix it.
Teenage boys can be pretty rough on doors, but we can remove all signs of abuse. Fix St Louis can put those sliding closet doors back on their tracks. We can repair the aforementioned doorknob-shaped holes in the adjacent wall. If the door “slab” (the part on hinges that swings) has been kicked and cracked, we can replace just the slab without swapping-out the entire frame. And, if the door “jamb” (frame around the door) has been split or cracked through forced entry, whether by an angry older brother, desperate parents, or the County SWAT team, we can handle that, too.
The key to painting a teenage boy’s room is doing the right prep work before the first drop of paint is applied. While the repairs above are a big part of it, they are not the only part. What about those posters on the wall that were mounted with tape, or rubbery white goop, or whatever sticky substance was immediately available when your teenager had the impulse to hang it? You may not like the way the walls look now, with a preening-for-the-cameras Yadier Molina, Ariana Grande, Metallica, or even Patrick Maroon. But you may like it a lot less after you see what’s behind them. Fix St Louis will make those walls paint-ready. And if your teenager went Goth, or through some creepy dark period you prayed he’d grow out of, so that everything is now painted black, we can prep the walls so they can be painted any color.
So, next time you’re watching a Blues hockey game, at the end of each period – sure, go ahead and take that bathroom break – but be sure to return for the All-American between-time show of the Blues’ rink-repair heroes. For all those Chucks, Petes, and Zekes out there, this Bud’s for you! Oh, and almost forgot. Let’s Go Blues!
This recent warmer weather is now drawing people into their backyards, where they catch their first glimpse of the condition of their wooden decks. And for many, it ain’t a pretty sight.
If you don’t like the deck you see, your first instinct might be to stain or paint it, thinking it will cover-up all your problems, so you can go on enjoying it again. Oh, if only life were that easy.
It’s cold outside, so you’re stuck inside. Looking for something fun to do? Why not participate in our Fix St Louis Treasure Hunt!
Just grab a pad and pen, and look around your house. Now, find as many of the items below as you can, then write them down. Quickly, please!
Ever notice there’s more than just siding on the sides of your house, and you’ve gotten in the habit of trying real hard not to look at it? There’s strips of wood painted white, and in some places it’s peeling, rotting, or bulging. Maybe there’s some places where there are whole chunks missing, creating what looks like a hole to you, but is actually the front door of another home –for insects, birds, small animals, or who-knows-what kind of life form.
We find there are usually 2 reasons homeowners avert their eyes from this painted woodwork and, frankly, neither of them is a good one. The first reason is that homeowners often do not have a clue who to call to fix it. We all know what happens whenever you call a window company — next thing you know you’ll have a pushy sales-type at your home trying to sell you on a multi-thousand dollar project of changing-out all the windows in your house. And calling a carpenter doesn’t seem right either, assuming the homeowner can even think of the name of someone who goes by that title since you-know-who about 2,000 years ago.
When you had family and friends at your home for the holidays, did your dining room add to the warmth of the occasion? Perhaps it has a big table, and maybe one or two nice pieces of furniture.
But otherwise, is it just plain dull, feeling more like a closet than a comfortable place for eating and conversation?