The Undocumented Migrants Now Heading to YOUR House
While you have been watching the TV drama play-out, thousands of Hondurans and Guatemalans marching toward our borders, you may have been missing a different type of invasion that is literally happening all around you – one that may impact you much more directly.
As someone who’s had the privilege of living the American Dream of home ownership, you may not realize that YOUR home IN PARTICULAR is the envy of literally thousands. And as the weather has gotten colder, these individuals have become MORE emboldened, and are ready to cross your borders, penetrate your walls, and move in with you without your permission.
But there’s good news. In this case, nobody will accuse you of being a racist, bigot, or xenophobe if you refer to them as “pests,” fortify your walls, or even call for their extermination! So, let’s get to work:
Notice any perfectly round holes, maybe a couple of inches in diameter, cut into the sides of your home – sometimes accompanied by a soundtrack of repetitive knocking sounds? Looks like you’ve taken on a woodpecker as a tenant, living the good life without the burdens of rent or a mortgage. Now it’s not enough to call Fix St Louis to simply patch that hole because, once we’re done, the freeloader is likely to return, this time carving-out another entrance just a few inches away. So, we’ll work with you in conjunction with a pest control company (we like ASAP All Seasons All Pests at 314-757-6846) to trap the woodpecker first, then relocate him to a place far, far away where he can fully live out the remainder of his adult life (or at least that’s the story you can tell your kids!).
Sure they’re cute, but beneath those pleasant demeanors lurk aggressive, persistent, and surprisingly strong creatures that are fiercely protective of their families. They chew holes in roofs and siding, and poke their way into those under-hanging soffits beneath roofs, before turning your attic into a penthouse for their families. Once again before Fix St Louis fixes the damage, like with woodpeckers, they need to be transported to VERY remote locations, including squirrel “heaven” (yes, that’s the story to tell your kids).
You know, I feel a little bad about dishing on carpenter bees given that they, like Jesus, chose to associate with our profession. But frankly, I’m not all that impressed with their carpentry work, which mostly consists of drilling holes in decks and interior trim that house their baby nests, and are used during hibernation. Sometimes these holes are elongated horizontally by woodpeckers who either think they can improve upon the bees’ artistry or like to snack on nested bee babies. We can patch these holes, which often seems like enough to make them relocate themselves, but if you’ve got a lot of them you might want to consult a pest specialist for treatment.
Now THESE are the ISIS terrorists of the pest world, and they must be shown no mercy. They sneak into homes undetected, then start EATING your floors and structural framing of your house, for gosh sakes, with their work often going undetected FOR YEARS! The visible traces of their work on exposed surfaces are often pretty subtle, like a thin mud-colored line or puffed-out surfaces. But once the underlying damage is exposed it’s usually shocking.
First step is to bring in a pest control company to map-out the damage (doing even more damage to your house just to fully expose the problem). Then, they’ll treat your house for termites. After that, call Fix St Louis to plug the holes and gaps in your exterior walls through which they entered (often ironically near the front door as if they’re dissing you for not having been invited). Then, we’ll restore your house to normal.
Spiders, Ladybugs, Boxelder Bugs, Stink Bugs
These guys often enter houses in September, and hibernate through the winter. They usually enter through the gaps in and around doors, windows, and siding. You should consider asking your pest control company whether having Fix St Louis patch holes or caulk gaps around your doors, windows, and siding might help.
Fully Documented Migrants
Unfortunately, there are also creatures who damage houses who are FULLY documented. Like dogs and cats. When it comes to their damage – we’re not proud – go ahead and think of Fix St Louis as the guys with the push brooms at the end of elephant parades. We can restore whatever they destroy.
Sorry to be pests who ruined your weekend, pointing out problems you didn’t know you had. But maybe we’re just the pests you need to protect and restore your home.