Britain has voted to become independent of the European Union, displaying that same spirit we inherited from them that led to our own independence.
Like the British, we’re just not that keen on letting other people tell us what to do. So I ask you, my fellow Americans, how could we have allowed our decks, who are not even people, to force us to do things we would rather not do. Like stain them every couple of years. Whose crazy idea of the pursuit of happiness is THAT?!
The sad truth is, we have become slaves to the preservation of our decks at the hands of a lumber-stain-handyman industrial complex. They reap windfall profits while you are caught-up in a repetitive and expensive task, not to mention a staining job that truth-be-told never looks all that good anyway.
So, we hope you will join Fix St Louis and Sherwin Williams in our crusade to make the ongoing staining of your deck something of the past – something you’ll do only about as often as you’d paint your house – virtually NEVER.
Let Fix St Louis apply Sherwin Williams’ elastomeric deck product, an alternative to deck stain or paint (actually, it’s a coating). The elastomeric technology fills small gaps in your deck lumber, and the coating expands and contracts with the temperature to resist cracking.
It comes in all sorts of shades and colors, and looks much better than standard stains and paints – I can show you samples on real wood. And it doesn’t cost a whole lot more than applying regular deck stain or paint.
You’ve now spent a 3-day weekend thinking about how great it is to have independence. Now, let’s go out there and do something about it. Let Fix St Louis stain your deck one last time, then let freedom ring
Fix St Louis
I swear, some weeks I feel like an investigator for the missing persons bureau, handyman division. Homeowners say things about their previous handymen like “I just don’t understand it – everything was all set up and he didn’t show-up” or “he started the job, the materials he needs to finish it are still here, but I can’t get a hold of him.” And, of course the ubiquitous “he never picks-up the phone” and “I can’t leave a message because there’s no voicemail.”
Now, no one has ever mistaken me for someone who gives good relationship advice, but maybe in this case I can help.
It’s not you, it’s him. And to understand it you have to think like one of these guys, or at least what passes for thought.
In the handyman’s pecking order, your worth is directly related to three things: 1) how much money he can make on your job — only this one job; 2) how long your job will take, so that during that hopefully prolonged period he does not have to be bothered with scrambling around to find new customers; and 3) whether another customer has just popped-up that ranks higher than you on #’s 1 or 2.
But at Fix St Louis, we’re just not like that. We seek meaningful relationships. To let you in on a secret, our success is based upon repeat business – people being happy with our work, service, and pricing, then calling us back later to do even more.
That’s why we hire the best folks we can find (most trained at Ranken Technical College, BTW), have a full-time customer service rep, show-up at firm scheduled times, guarantee our work for a year, and communicate with you diligently through phone, email, and text messages.
So, why mess around with some “Chuck in a Truck” who will dump you for the next better job? Call Fix St Louis, a handyman company you’d be comfortable introducing to your own mother.
Fix St Louis
Hey, what’s with that flimsy extra door that’s right in front of your front or rear doors? The one that’s got a screen in it (or was that glass, or both, or neither?). That often ugly door that visually blocks your front door’s curb appeal, making your investment in a good-looking front door seem pretty silly. That door that either doesn’t close all the way or closes way too fast, giving you an undignified public spanking whenever you enter your house.
They call it a “storm door,” although what it has to do with a “storm” is anyone’s guess. How could it be of any use in a storm? Is this your front door’s equivalent of slipping-on a windbreaker? Or maybe the storm door is a vestige from the days when houses used to have storm windows, before double-paned glass on windows made storm windows obsolete. Is it possible that similar technological advances indoor construction and weather stripping have made storm doors obsolete, but storm door companies have no particular interest in telling us that?
Do you really need a storm door? Honestly, in all our years in business we can only recall ONE request for a storm door where one did not previously exist, and even then it was a townhouse where adjacent units had one. A case of storm door envy? In every other case, it’s all been about repairing or replacing a storm door that was already in place.
But, let’s give the storm door industry its due and brain-storm all the reasons you might actually want a storm door:
So for those of you who find the above arguments for storm doors compelling, bully for you. You know who to call to repair or replace them. Oh, that would be us, Fix St Louis.
But for those of you who view your storm doors as more of a nuisance, we bring you good news. Our skilled technicians regularly perform storm-door-ectomies, in which we not only unfasten, detach, and haul away old storm doors, we also restore whatever holes, mortises, cracks or unpainted-areas are left behind, so no one would ever suspect you even had a storm door there.
OK, inviting us over to your house to repair, remove, or replace a storm door may not be the most exciting thing to happen to you that day. But it sure beats a smart whack in the backside from a storm door.
Fix St Louis
Can you never quite relax in your house because it’s always reminding you of what needs to be done?
You look up, there’s a crack in the ceiling. You look down, there’s a crack in the tile grout. You’re at the kitchen counter and there’s a crack at the top of the backsplash. You can’t take a relaxing hot shower or bath because there’s grout missing in the wall tiles and caulk missing along the top of the tub or shower base. You can’t even run outside to get away because there’s mortar missing in the brick walls or chimney.
OK, some of these cracks may be just a matter of appearance. And, who are we to judge if you don’t mind your kids’ friends reporting back to their parents — a.k.a. your neighbors — that there’s a crack house on their block? Or if you don’t mind those relatives who visit over the holidays making cracks about your housekeeping throughout the rest of the year?
But those cracks in your bathroom matter. They can let water enter the walls, rot the drywall and lumber behind them, and stain or damage the ceiling below.
And those cracks on the windows and siding of your house can let in rain, ground water, and all kinds of insects and other pests.
So, damage caused by cracks is not just limited to your reputation.
Call Fix St Louis today and let our crack team get to work. We’ve got joint compound, mortar, caulk, grout, and sealants of all kinds. We can even finish-off the cracks by smoothing out and painting these areas so that no one would ever suspect those lost years, when you let this kind of stuff fall through the cracks, and let your house go.
Why wait until just before the holidays to get your house in top shape for visitors? Get cracking! Let Fix St Louis help you enjoy your house all year long.
Fix St Louis
People talk a lot about protecting the planet, but does it sometimes seem like the planet doesn’t care all that much about protecting us?
We need to build houses to protect ourselves from snow, rain, hot, cold, water, wind, and animals of all sizes. And if we dare leave so much as a 1/4″ gap anywhere in the house to let some of that natural air come in, we’re rewarded with pesky little flying creatures, some of which even bite! Whose idea was this?
So, it’s not even enough to have screens on your windows, storm doors, and patio doors. They have to fit properly so that all gaps are closed. And they can’t have any holes or tears in them.
Now, you may not think that the average bug is particularly intelligent. But somehow, they are all members of Mensa when it comes to finding every hole or gap in your house big enough for them to fly through. Worse yet, this is the time of year they like to impersonate Hollywood directors, and they’re about to give each one of us a screen test.
So, if there are holes or tears in your screens, or Fido was getting a little impatient waiting to get out, you might want to call Fix St Louis.
Not only can we replace torn screens, we can also fix or replace those annoying sliding patio screen doors that get stuck or leave gaps. We can also upgrade you to newer screen materials that resist holes, tears, and damage from man’s so-called best friend.
At Fix St Louis, we’re looking forward to coming to a screen near you!
Fix St Louis
Now that the weather outside is starting to climb above room temperature, you may be tempted to start running your air conditioner and running-up your electric bills with it. We have some simple advice for you. Don’t.
Now, don’t get me wrong – air conditioning is great and all that. It has made the development of human civilization in St Louis possible despite our summers. But in the Spring & Summer, science has proven that the human species can flourish here better without it.
The secret is the use of an invention called the Whole House Fan, which everyone in the world, with the exception of me and the folks who print the boxes they’re shipped in, mistakenly call an “attic fan.” But, that is a hectoring lecture for another day.
A Whole House Fan is typically a 3′ x 3′ louvered rectangular object installed on a hallway ceiling, with a fan above it in the attic, and a wall switch nearby. When you turn it on and open screened windows and doors, it sucks in air from outside, and creates a gentle breeze of fresh air flowing through your house making it comfortable on all but the very hottest days. And, it’s especially good at night when it’s usually less than 72 degrees outside, bringing naturally air conditioned air inside. In fact, it’s even useful on most SUMMER nights, when the temperature dips to 72 degrees or below.
We at Fix St Louis are big fans of Whole House Fans. After all, who WOULDN’T prefer fresh air from the outside flowing through their home. OK, maybe not residents of Sauget, Illinois. But who else? Nobody.
Give us a call to install one this Whole House Fan season. BTW, there’s another one coming up in the Fall.
Fix St Louis